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Monday, August 04, 2003 ( 7:53 PM ) kate AHH. fuck me. # ( 4:48 PM ) kate this is when it hits me the most that summer is almost over.. nh has come and gone. another year of cousins, yearbook, stars, beach, burn, funspot, scrabble, reading.. and i dont know, it always sucks coming home and realizing that its august. usually its the dreaded thought of having to return to lhs in weeks and endure another year.. but this year its more of a sad feeling that i wont be doing that. sad for the inevitable "goodbyes" looming, but excited and way way anxious to see exactly what this upcoming year will be like for me. and i know i have that excitement, but right now all i know is that i am sitting here in my pjs at 4:45 and theres half a million things i want to do before the 11th, 15th, 17th, 20th.. and the scariest thought is that i wont get it done and ill leave without my needed "closure". i hate goodbye, i cant stand the word itself but at the same time i know ill hold too many regrets and stupid shit if i dont embrace it. so this is crunch time. in one week, the first one hits. after talking about it for soo long ill finally get to see how it really feels, how much i will really be affected. and in the middle of this week im going to ou to schedule. fantastic. fucking perfect. well lets stop talking about it leah and get off your ass and fucking do something. because you talk too much and your action is pretty pitiful. # |
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